Road of Roses
by ashleyh160
Summary: The moment i saw him it felt like the world had stop. Time stood still,it was only the two of us. i could see the anger and devastation that i caused from leaving written all over his face. This man before me was a complete stranger from the Jax i left behind in Charming three years ago. his eyes were no longer filled with love,no, the eyes of a monster stared back at me
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any of these SOA characters. This is my first fanfiction, this story has been running through my head over and over and i just had to start writing it down. Im starting to fall in love with these characters and i hope that all of you do as well. Have fun and enjoy :)!** **I also apologize for any misspelled words or gram, im not the best at editing.**

Chapter 1

Cleo Delaney couldn't have picked a worst time to pick up her shit and ditch this low life of a so called boyfriend she has. It was long over due. She never did have very good luck when it came to men, and the prof might as well have been stamped on her face. Starring into the mirror Cleo saw the dark purple outline of Sean's last little "accident" riming around the outside of her left cheek. Needless to say no one would of expected her to have turned out any different with having the infamous Luann and Otto as her parents. To most people she was known as Charming's own little princess. Growing up being one of the only girls born into SAMCRO original nine she was always treated special. Even though at first it took the club members to come to terms that a little girl would be running around their infamous club house. From the moment that bouncing little girl full of spunk came through those doors in Otto's arms everyone couldn't help but fall in love. Having adapting Otto's tough skin and attitude, Cleo was grateful she got most of her looks from her mother. With long curly honey blond hair that went down to her ass and a nice set of tits that she was proud to say came from her mother, it would seem the only apparent trait she got from her old man was, his piercing blue eyes.

With her dad going in and out of jail most of her childhood Cleo spent most of her time with her Uncle Clay and Aunt Gemma at the age of seven, who were just to excited to embrace the little girl into their home. After all SAMCRO is family and family sticks together. Because lets face it her pornstar of a mother, Luann wasn't really the mothering type. Clay and Gemma became her parent figures for the most part. They were wonderful to her, and their son Jax who was only a few years older then her. Jax, Opie, and her were inseparable growing up. Cleo and Jax were best friends growing up. She was always there for him and he her. They were each others backbone. Even when he needed her the most through his fucked up relationship with Tara, sheen was there for him. She grew up falling in love with him. On the other hand Jax never noticed the women that Cleo was starting to grow into. It took Tara leaving him to get his head out of the clouds and back on earth to see what was in front of him this whole time. Who would of thought after two years of them sneaking around to hook up and long night motorcycle drives would of resulted in Jax and her going to the tattoo ship to get his crow tatted on her hip bone. She was only at the age of eighteen at the time, but Jax couldn't have been more happy. Officially marking his claim on her and his and his only. Gemma and Clay couldn't have been more proud when they found out, they always knew they would of eventually end up together. After all they were the Prince and Princess of Charming.

They were never good for each other though. There whole relationship was built on heavy filled lust, passion and adrenaline. There was know doubt that they both were crazy in love though. But at the tender age of eighteen Cleo was to naïve to think what the so called "Life" as Gemma would of put it really entitled. The Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club was full of booze, violence and sweet butts. Growing up around the Club Cleo always herd what happens on a run stays on a run, she just never expected to be given such harsh lession in club life. Until one night she found a blond bimbo Crow-Eater who by the looks of it must have been doped up all over her man at one of the clubs parties. Cleo was so mad that beat the shit out of the girl so bad she ended up having to get stitches in her hand. The whole ride to the ER with Jax that night was a screaming match, and which officially started their four years of on and off.

Four years of empty promise, tears and a whole lot of makeup sex. Until one night when Jax was on a run left Charming and Jax along with it. Only leaving a letter behind for him to find when he came home that night. Going off the radar Cleo went up down to L.A. to start college and finish her degree in business. There is where she met Sean. At first he was just the distraction that Cleo needed. Tall dark and no patch in sight Cleo through herself head first into her and Sean's relationship. It didn't take long for Sean to show his other side. Which is why now at the age of twenty-five Cleo finds herself debating on calling the one person who she is most likely get the less lecture from.

"Uncle Clay I need your help" she whispered into the phone.

1:15am

Clay said he would be sending Juice and her Uncle Bobby to come pick her up at this dingy hotel that her and Sean were staying at, and she couldn't be happier to escape the twisted reality that she had been living for the past three years. The stale taste of beer and cigerates hung in the room, Sean her boyfriend, well soon to be ex-boyfriend laid passed out on the bed. A cigerate still lingering in his hand. She couldn't stand the sight of him. She secretly hoped he would drop it and light himself on fire.

Looking out the through the yellow faded currents Cleo saw she the flash of motorcycle lights shining down the dirt road and hear the roar of the engines. Wasting no time Ray threw on her white converses and leather jacket. Grabbing her backpack Cleo made one last check in the bathroom to make sure she didn't leave anything behind. Walking back into the bedroom Cleo stopped dead in her tracks.

Standing against the door stood Sean belt in hand. "Your not leaving me Cleo" Sean said anger written all over his face.

Fuck, this was not good, She expected him to be passed out until at least late morning. She could hear pounding on there hotel room door, so close but yet so far away from being free of this scumbag. His eyes were blood shot, you could easily tell he had been drinking. Grabbing a fistful of her hair sean backhanded her across the face, causing blood to drip out of her mouth. she started screaming from the increase of pain on her scalp, trashing against his hold trying to break free.

"Fuck you!" she spat in his face, causing her to gain another slap along with it. She should of knew better, once he gets into one of his moods its never a good idea to keep testing him. The banging was getting louder, she wondered how many men her father sent.

"Open the fuckin door!" a voice shouted from behind the door. Her head was spinning to much she couldn't make out who it belonged to but it sounded familiar. "Their goanna kill you, you know. For what you did to me" She whispered, trying to smile at the thought of Juice and her Uncle Bobby bring pain to Sean like he inflicted on her for the past three years. She was sure she looked more like she was grimacing with all the blood she tasted in her mouth. Grabbing her by the hair he yanked her onto to the bed, crawling on top of her while pinning her down he leaned in slowly and whispered against her ear "When I'm done with you sweetheart there will be nothing left to save." Grabbing his belt he started to undo his jeans.

No her mind screamed she knew what was about to come next, she needed to flight but her body was to weak, she was slowly falling in and out of consciousness. There was a sudden slam of the door bursting open slamming against the wall. A shot ran through the room, suddenly the weight that was on top of her suddenly lifted. Looking over she saw Sean's lifeless body laying next to her on the bed, she didn't care though, why should she after how he treated her like a punching bag. The asshole deserved for more then just a quick death.

Cleo tried to sit up but she couldn't really register what was going on around her. She didn't give it much thought nor did she really care about anything at the moment the darkness was starting to take ahold, consuming her and it was just way to inviting to not give in too. Trying to stand up but failing miserably the last thing her mind registered before the darkness completely devoured her was a flash of blond hair with arms wrapping around her to support her fall and the sweet smell of leather.


	2. Chapter 2

**Jax Teller -28**

 **Cleo Delaney-26**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Once again I apologize for the spelling/ grammar. Hope you all enjoy!**

… **...**

"Shes my daughter where is she!" Luanna Delaney screamed.

I woke up to the sound of arguing. My head was killing me, slowly I opened my eyes and scanned my surroundings. I was in Jax's old room at the club house that much was obvious. Everything was exactly how it was before I left. A rush of emotions hit me like a train, all the memories that were in this room were over whelming. How did I get here, and in this room of all places and where was Jax. I was not ready to face him just yet, especially knowing he would ask questions. And with questions came answers I just was not ready to answer. Answers that he didn't need to know. Slowly making my way out of bed I figured it was time to face the music of my mother. Over the pass three years I kept in contact with her every now and then, just enough to let her know I was doing alright and to make sure to tell everyone I didn't want them looking for me. I sent her money every month like always regardless, I always knew it was hard for her to get by with my father in a out of jail. I hated the thought of her career choice of being a porn star when I was younger but as I got older I started to come to terms with her switch to directing videos instead of performing in them. Lets just say growing up with a mother as a porn star wasn't the what every kid dreamed of. Its been six months since my last phone call to her, and their was know doubt that I would be hearing about it.

Bracing myself for any possible reaction I made my way out into the clubhouse main room. At first nobody noticed me, my mother was in a rage, her face was a deep red, hands on her hips she looked like she was about to pop off on everyone if it weren't for the fact of Gamma was blocking her way. Clay was by her side, Bobby and Juice not wanting to get into the destruction of the two women arguing sat on the couch, each with a beer in hand. Jax was no where in sight. My mother and Gemma's relationship for the most part was civil. Each had a mutual understanding of there status as being a Old Lady, yet my mother at times couldn't always up hail the responsibilities and in Gemma's mind that made my mother weak. Looking up my mother finally noticed me "Baby!" she exclaimed, pushing pass Gemma and embracing me.

"Hi momma" I whispered, tears forming in my eyes.

Looking me over she shook her head "You have a lot of explaining to do" Her piercing blue eyes narrowing as she took in my appearance. My shirt had small stain on it, my jeans were ripped and I could only guess my hair looked even worst. "Look at you you're a mess." shaking her head.

I shifted unevenly from foot to foot, embarrassed that I came out here without thinking of looking in a mirror first. Gemma sensing my uneasiness made her way over to us, brushing my hair behind me ear she studied the black and blue mark which lined the side of my face. "That bastered didn't deserve a quick death." she said, her disapproval written all over her face. "You still not off the hook yet for leaving the way you did. Do you have any idea how worried we all where when we didnt know where you were." Her disappointment and hurt showing on her face.

"Sorry." I whispered. Gemma always had a way of making one feel accountable for the actions. As a child it was always hard to get anything pass her, without her finding out.

Pulling me into a warm hug she whispered "Glad your back kido." A smile forming on me face. The tears I've been fighting to keep in foaming on my face breaking free and flowing down my face. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone, it was a sense of relief to be home.

"Hey Hey none of that Princess." Clay said. His old nickname for me brining a smile to his lips.

Blushing a wiping away whatever tears I could. Bobby came up a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. Just what I need, throwing me head back I took a swig from it welcomed the burning feeling of the liquid sliding down my throat. He always had a way of knowing what I needed without saying much.

"So are you here for good or what?" My mother asked. Clearly wanting answers.

Looking around at the faces before me how could I have thought that these people would turn their backs on me for leaving. As if I never left they welcomed me back as if I never left. "Yeah Im here for good" A smile once again forming across my face. A sense of relief washed over me as if a heavy weight had been lifted. It felt good to be home at last.

"Good, then I expect you at the Charmings annuals Forth of July Fair going on tomorrow. The club is having a booth to help with Charming raise money for the local schools. And im having all the ladies come together for this." Gemma said. "And you can stay in your old room until you figure out your next move. I left everything as it was."

The roar of motorcycle engines and the slamming of the front door interrupted our conversation as two people came into the room. The moment i saw him it felt like the world had stop. Time stood still,it was only the two of us. i could see the anger and devastation that i caused from leaving written all over his face. This man before me was a complete stranger from the Jax i left behind in Charming three years ago. his eyes were no longer filled with love,no, the eyes of a monster stared back at me.

My body froze up as the familiar presence of him consumed me. But it was Opie picking me up and swinging me over his shoulder that broke me out of my daze. Not being able to contain my laughter at his actions I playful hit his back, "Put me down you big goof."

Setting me down and taking a step back Opie couldn't contain the his giant smile. "About time you came home. Missed you shorty." he beamed looking down at me.

Giving him a hug in response I said "Missed you too big guys" Gently punching him in the chest.

Looking passed him my eyes locked on Jax's once more. My heart skipped a beat, his eyes told me everything I needed to know. Just how much my abstinence effected him. Betrayal ,hurt, anger and relief shown threw his eyes. He didn't say anything as he walked forward, grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the front door I knew exactly where he was taking me. And panic set into me.

Opening my mouth to protest and trying to pull my hand back, Jax stopped suddenly and turned his head to me and simply said "Don't darlin." Giving me the look that left no room to argue. He brought his hand up to cup my face a small secretive smile formed on his lips. That use to be my smile, the smile that he only gave me. Then letting his hand fall back down he grabbed my hand once more and I didn't say a word as I just let myself be pulled along by the men who broke my heart and in returned I stole his.


	3. Chapter 3

I stood on the top of the garage roof over looking Teller-Morrow auto shop. I didn't want to be up here. This use to be our spot, a place where we went whenever we had to work through things. This was the only place we were ever truly open with each other. But that's the funny thing now isnt it, its not our spot anymore. It hasn't been for a while now. And at this moment I was scared shitless being up here with him alone. I wasn't ready to deal with this, to deal with him just yet. I kept my back turned from him, I'd be damned if I was the first one to break the silence. I can feel Jax burning wholes into my back which made me feel even more on edge but I refused to meet his gaze. Finally I tuned around and met his gaze. Our eyes locked and it felt like the wind had been hit from me. His face was blank, avoided of any emotion.

"why?" Jaxe asked.

"Why what?" I asked back, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn't about to make this easy for him.

"why did I come home to find you gone" he said through clutch teeth. Clearly trying to control his anger.

"Was it really that big of a surprise Jackson, come on now" I said while rolling my eyes. How dare he appear upset after everything hes done to push me away.

He came at me, grabbing me by the shoulders I yelped. " I loved you since I was sixteen!" he yelled. He was looking control. I didnt care though. How dare he make this my fault. He was the one to did this not me.

"You know what Jax I thought you did too, I thought you were different. I never doughted us, our relationship. Always thinking how lucky I was to have a man who was loyal. That I would never have to walk in on you cheating on me like all the other old ladies caught their men. But then guess what one night I did. What a laughing joke I was." I laughed hysterically. I was losing it, but I didn't care. Let him see the damaged he caused. The tears running down my eyes, I only wiped them away.

"We just had a fight because you were mad that I was going on a run. You were the one who was acting all bitchy, you said we were over." He yelled throwing his hands in the air.

"I looked for you for months after you left. I rode all across California and I couldn't find you. I made a mistake, but you never gave me a chance to fix it." regret shinning through his eyes. I took a step back from him.

" You had know idea what I was going through." I sobbed. I snack to my knees.

"What the fuck dose that even mean!" He was in my face shaking me. He didn't understand. How could he? But that was Jax's problem. He never tried to understand until it was too late. Looking up at his, my eyes burned into his. "I was Pregnant." I whispered. Jax froze.

3 Years ago

Two pink lines. Two stupid pink lines stared back at me. Mocking me. Daring me to take another test, because I didn't already take 4 of them, I laughed bitterly to myself. What was I gonna do. I wasn't ready to have a kid. For god sake I didn't even know the first thing of being a mother. Mine didn't act anymore then a friend to.

I knew something was off when last month my period didn't come. I just thought it was from stress that ive been under lately at work and the club. And then this month it never came either thats when I decided maybe I should take a test just to calm my anxiety. Then to my surprise the came up positive. Lalying on the floor I looked at my belly. To be honest you really wouldn't be able to tell that I was two months pregnant, you would just think I was bloated from having a big lunch. What was I gonna do I cried into my hands, better yet how was I gonna tell Jax. I froze jumping up at the situation of the reality set in. Jackson. He wasn't ready to be a father. It wasn't even a good time. We were to deep into the club with the Mayans coming at us from both sides. How would be take the news.

Looking into the mirror I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Get your shit together" I told myself. Hoping a peep talk would make everything better. Jax would be home any moment and I better start getting dinner ready.

Just then I herd the front door open. Fuck. He shouldnt be home for another thirty minutes. I cant do this. How was I gonna tell him, im not ready. Fixing my hair up into a cute bun so it was out of the way I through a shirt on over my bra and made my way into the kitchen. Jax was taking his leather cut off as I walked up to him.

"Hey Hun, how was work?" he asked giving me one of those famous Jax Teller smiles that would make any girl weak in the knees.

"Surprisingly boaring. Not much business today I got off early." I said as I leaned up to give him a quick kiss. I bartender at a bar in downtown charming in the afternoon, and went college classes in the morning. The tips were too good to pass up. And I wasn't a full time student or anything so my hours were always flexible when it came to work. I opened the fridge pulling out some steaks for dinner tonight.

"That's good at least, because I um gotta leave in the morning." he said smoothly while rubbing the back of his neck. He knew there was gonna be a fight. There always was when he had to go on runs. I worried and the fact that I was always getting told last minute didnt make it any better. I stopped what I was doing.

"Are you fucking serious? Tomorrow was suppose to be our first day off together in weeks." I was livid. He knew how much tomorrow meant to me.

"Babe its only for a few days. Club business." he said trying to reason with me. It didn't.

"Fuck the Club, your always gone!" I yelled.

"Hey you knew what you were signing up for when you choice me. You of all people. You know the Club comes first. You wanted to be a Old Lady, then act like one." He was getting annoyed from the my lack of understanding I could tell. But I didn't care. How could I depend on him being a father if I couldn't even depend on him being there for me.

I grabbed the pan that I was about to put on the stove at him. It smashed into the wall just missing him my a inch. Jax came at me pushing me up against the wall and pulling my hands behind my back. Know all to well that I would keep coming at his especially if he tried to retrain me. Growing up in the club as a child I knew one thing and that was how to fight. And Jax was all to aware of that.

"Cleo calm the fuck down. Im sick of you spazing out lately like a complete physco bitch." He breathed into my ear trying to calm me down. Fuck him. Fuck him if he thought I would just stand for this for the rest of my life. He always choice the club over me and I was sick of it.

"Get the fuck off of me." I yelled trying to jerk my body.

"Not happening darling." he said. Only pissing me off more.

"I'm done. I'm done with you. Get out of our house." I screamed. Jax took a step back. I spun around. Meeting his gaze, he was angry. This always happened he fought, he always fought. Our relationship would be great and then one of us would blow up on each other. It was a never ending cycle. Sure their were more good times then bad, but when those bad came into play that's all that we could see.

"Just get out." I sobbed. As I sunk to the floor.

Grabbing his cut, he went towards the door and stopped for a moment. "Im staying at the Clubhouse tonight." And then he was gone. The roaring of his engine drifting down the street. The steaks on the counter long forgotten.

…...

Later that night after clearing my head, I decided I needed to go see Jax and make things better. I needed to tell him about the baby. This child deserved a change of having both parents in its life. Plus after much thinking I realized I wasn't really mad at Jax I was mad at the Club for always taking him away. Throwing on some heels, jeans and my favorite crop top that showed my tits in the best way. I must admit I even thought I look smoking hot it this outfit. By the time Jax saw me I knew the fight be had this afternoon would be long forgotten. That thought alone made me smile to myself. I made my way to the club. It was no surprise when I pulled up that the club house was packed for a party. I waved to Chibs and Happy as I made my way inside. I scanned the room for Jax. I didn't see him tho. That's odd I thought to myself. He must of went to bed early and be in his back room. I was about to knock on the door when a noise made me stop. Not this any noise either, I herd moaning. I couldn't breath for a second. I slowly opened the door and what I saw made me feel like my heart just sank to the ground. I gasped, my hand coming up to my mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

**This Chapter is a bit short.**

Jax was half naked, his pants were down to his knees while he was fucking another women. A women who wasn't me my brain kept telling me. The Sluts legs were wrapped around him while she was moaning, horribly might I add. She looked like she was doped up out of her mind on coke or some other drug. Next thing I knew is I went for her. I pushed pass Jax, surprise was written all over his face. I went for her face first and punched her right in the noise. I her a crack, good I broke it.

"Bitch!" The Slut yelled. I couldn't believe this cracked up whore had the nerves to fuck MY man. I wasn't done with her yet, not by the long shot. I went for her neck slamming her to the ground. I wanted to choke the life out of her. I could faintly hear Jax yelling out the door for help, but I didn't care. All I could think about was the thought of Jax fucking this nasty bitch. I was going to kill her I knew it, I wanted to see the life fade from her eyes.

But I never had the chance, because I was pulled off of her by Juice kicking and screaming, "I'll kill her! I kill her!" I screamed at the top of my lungs trying to get out of Juices grip.

Jax came up to me "Jesus Cleo! Your making a scene."

"Cleo calm down. Don't let him know how much her hurt you." Juice whispered to me.

I stopped my pursuit. I was making a scene. And good, let them know, let the whole club know that what happens when to mess with the Princess of SamCrow. I looked at the girl on the floor, she was a bloody mess, crying as she held her face. When Juice realized that I wasn't gonna do anymore harm he slowly let me go. I walked up to Jax who was by the door, his arms crossed in front of him. I slapped him across the face, hard. He didn't react though. He only stood there taking it, he deserved it and he knew it. Out of every fight know matter how big we always came back to each other. They never lasted long. But this time was different. In all of six years through on's and off's neither one of us have ever strayed, except for today. The hatred I felt for him was written all over my face. I just pushed passed him and walked out.

…...

When I got home I rushed to the toilet and threw up. I was nausous, my hand I was pretty sure was broken and my stomach was killing me. I tried to get up only to fall back down. The sudden pain was to much. A rushed of panic washed over me. The baby! Something was wrong with the baby. I had to get to the hospital. Forcing myself up fear shot through me. There was to so much blood. I gagged, holding in the vomit that was threatening to come up. No no no, I lost it, I lost the baby. I sat there in my own blood for what must have been hours until I found enough strength to clean myself up.

I wasnt about to stay here any longer. And I sure as hell wasn't gonna stay around to face Jax. I grabbed a bag and started to fill it with clothes. Taking the bare minimum. And I left.

…...

 **Present Day**

"I was Pregnant." Jax froze.

He didn't move, he was deadly silent. I was afraid of his reaction, what he might do, so I spoke.

" I was pregnant, the night I left, that is why I was acting all bi-polar the week before I left. That was what I was coming to tell you at the club house that night." I whispered, my head fall down. I couldn't look him in the eye. I couldn't stand to see his face know the question he was about to ask. And sure enough he did.

"Wheres the baby?" Jax asked, looking around as if our child would just pop up out of know where.

"I lost it." I sighed "i lost it that night after I left the clubhouse once I got home." the unspoken thought I knew he was thinking was "after I found you in bed with another women" hung in the air between us. He knew it was his fault, the stress and devastation of him cheating making me lose our child.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys so after reviewing and rereading the first chapter noticed there was a few details in the story that changed. You see when I first wrote the first chapter it was so long ago and then I didn't have time to continue it until last night. But don't worry I will be doing my best from now on getting you guys new chapters in the future!:) but first let me clear some stuff up before we move forward...**

 **Jax's has only cheated on Cle once and that was the night she found out she was pregnant and left. The only other time was when after they got in a fight she did find him with a Crow-Eater before at the clubhouse during a party sitting on his lap. When Cleo got there and saw she punched her in order to state Jax as her man and ended up going to the hospital because she broke her hand. So yeah Jax has been faithful up until that one night that drove Cleo away.**

 **Oh and let me just let you know I've changed the location of Cleo's Crow tattoo. Instead of on the Hip, its gonna be on the side of chest like Gemma's. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! If anyone has any questions just Inbox me and ill be happy to clarify anything up for you. Oh and I just love when you guys give REVIEWS they are so motivating!**

…...

I expected Jaxs to yell, to cuse me out, but instead he surprised me. But as soon as the first sob left his mouth I pulled him chest. I didnt even hesitate, hugging him to me I could feel him shaking and my heart broke.

Glancing down at my belly he placed his hand over my stomach almost as if he was imaging our unborn child in there.

"You would have been a amazing mother" Jax whispered softly a sad smile on his handsome face. I could feel tears staring to form at the corner of my eyes threatening to break free.

"And you would have been a great daddy Jax." I replied forming a small smile on my lips.

Out of everything we went through Jax and I were always there for one another. As children Jax and Opie were always best friends but as soon as I came into the picture the duo turned into a trio. We were thick as thieves. But it was Jax's bed that would spend most nights in. When I was younger I would wake up to nightmares from my childhood and craw into Jaxs bed. He alwayed protected me, he would never say a word but move over as I crawed in and wrap his arms around me while I cried myself to sleep. Even as I got older and when Jax started to date Tara, no matter how old we got or what fights we ended up in, Jax always made sure to leave a spot on his bed for me. And I loved him for that. I missed those days when they were all carefree, so full of life not a worry in sight. We thought we were invincible. Even when Jax started to get more deep into the Club and taking on more dangerous we alwayed believed we were untouchable, but we couldnt have been further from the true. And as I held him tighter feeling Jax start to relax, I wondered why for all those years I kept dealing with all the bullshit that went along with the SAMCROW. But as I look down at this beautiful man that I held in my arms I knew the answer. For him.

…...

Today was the day I had to help Gemma with the fair. No doubt the whole town would be there. Being back in town for no more then one day I was already getting involved in SAMCROW. I guess that's what comes with the territory. No matter how long I went away Charming would always be my home. Signing I pulled myself out of bed, I was exhausted. My eyes having difficulty opening wanting nothing more then to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. Last night after Jax's and I so called talk, we stayed on the roof and just talked for hours as if I never left. I could still tell we had a lot of things we still needed to say to each other that built up over the years. But as I sat on our old roof last night I couldn't help but realize how easy it was for the two of us to fall back into step with one another. I still wasn't sure where that left our relationship tho. We ended up on civil enough terms, each of us occasionally flirting back and fourth ever now and again but that didn't mean Iwas anywhere ready to get back into that type of commitment.

Bushing my hair I ended up deciding on a simple pony tail would be good enough for today. I threw on a pair of old fashion vans and black low cut V-neck shirt and made my way out the door.

Gemma was already down at the Park getting the booth together for today's events, so it was my job to get beer. I drove down to the nearest gas stationed and picked up at least what must have been ten, twenty four packs of beer. After arriving at the Park around eleven, things were just starting to get busy from the looks of it. Kids were running around playing and going on ride after ride.

Gaining my attention I noticed Gemma waving frantically while standing at our tent along with all the other wives and girlfriends of members from the MC. It was always the women's jobs to organized and participate in community events like this, keeping up appearances.

"About time you showed up, I was about to call in a search party for you missy." Gemma said from looking up over her glasses.

"Yeah sorry, the gas station was packed and almost out of beer. I snagged the last of them." I said giving the women a triumphant smile.

"That's my girl." Gemma said patting my shoulder and walking away to take care of whatever else that needed to be done.

The day went by fairly smoothly. Every now and then someone would recognize me and ask me how

I was or where I went off too. Donna even came by to help out bringing along the kids. As soon as I saw her I ran up to her causing me to knock both off us on the ground giggling. I was easy to tell time haven't change the affection the we both held for each other. Both of us having a mutual understand of the so call life we lived, forever bonding us as girlfriends.

The day was going smoothly enough, our tent was doing pretty well with our bake safe. People loved home made brownies, cupcakes and cookies. There were aton of them, Gemma really out did herself. It was staring to slow down tho, the sun making its way to set.

Deciding it was time for some beer I asked the ladies if anyone wanted any, Donna and a women named Lauren quickly jumping at the opportunity of any type of alcohol. I made my way over to the beer booth.

The line for beer was long but made a good distraction. Taking in my surroundings I noticed two figures walking up to Gemma's booth. They stood out from the crowed. Waring two leather cuts, hair slicked back I immediately knew who they were before I even needed a second glance. Jax and Opie where talking to Donna and Gemma about something I couldn't make out. All of them looking like they were in deep conversation. I realized must have been staring a little to long because Jax seemed to have noticed. Running his hand through his blond hair he turned and made eye contact throwing me that Jax Teller smirk that he knew I loved so much. Quickly I turned around before a blush could creep up in her cheeks.

"Three beers please." I said smiling at the man who was in charge of handing out beers.

He was older, maybe early forties. He gave me a look over, looking at my chest longer then what was expeced, "Nine fifty" he said giving me a creepy perverted smile.

Digging into my wallet I was about to pull out some money when I suddenly smelt the sent of sandalwood, sweet leather and musky. A shill went up my spine.

"Keep the change." Jax said, paying for my drinks before I could. He was looking down at me and giving me a smooth smile. The man handed me the drinks. Turning around I narrowed my eyes at Jax "You didn't have to do that, I could of payed for my own drinks." I said, before walking away. I didnt need him to start thinking that he could start taking care of me out of know where.

Jax followed me gently grabbing my arm to stop me.

"I know Darling, but I wanted too. Jeeze your welcome by the way." He gave me a playful look, the type of look that made me want to whip right off of that perfect face of his. He pulled out a cigarette and light it. Breathing in the smoke and welcoming the burning sensation in his throat.

"Thank you. Now if you will excuse me I got a delicious cookies to sell, I dont need..." I didnt get a chance to Finnish. Automatically noticing what caught his attention. He was staring at my chest, his jaw was clenched and I didnt need to look down to know what he was looking at. I already knew the answer. His crow. The one I got tattooed the night he he officially made me his Old Lady. I still had it. Damn it I forgot all about it. Trying to cover it up I pulled up my shirt the best I could with three beers in my hands almost resulting in spilling them all over myself. Jax didn't seem to notice tho, his eyes still on the tattoo. Over the years I couldn't bring myself to get it removed. God only new how many times I went to the tattoo shops to get it covered up but I never ened up following through.

Jax brought up a hand and gently ran a finger along it making my breath caught at the touch of his fingers on my chest. I dont even thing he was aware of what he was doing, he looked like he was memorized. His mind caught up in his old memories.

"You kept it." He whispered so low that for a second I thought maybe I imaged it. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and explode. Placing a hand above his I whispered " I never had the strength to get rid of it" looking him in the eyes.

I leaned into him and hands resting on his chest, not having the strength to hold myself upwards. He didnt seem to mind. His eyes were locked on mind, I could see all the unwanted things he wanted to say. The tension building between us. My knees felt weak and I could feel my cheeks turning red.

That's how it always was between us, tension. No matter if it was sexual, anger or this buzzing energy of want it was always so thick that you could just cut it with a knife. Which no matter the cause the out come was always the same, always leaving both of us naked and panting for breath.

Jax reached up and tucked a piece of hair that some how fell from out of my pony hair behind my ear. And in doing so said "I regret I ever stupid enough to let you go." He said, his voice longingly.

We stayed like that for a moment each of us both wanting to say more but neither of us having the courage to do so. To ask the other one what it meant. We were both aware of this feeling, but I couldn't help buy fight it. Could I go back to how things were I asked myself. After everything Jaxs has done to me. Their was so much hurt we did to one another we constantly fought, both of us highly jealous and we were completely unstable. But on top of all that we each truly cared deeply for one another, we made a inadvisable team, and our sex life was just amazing. We understood each other, but wa all that enough? One of us was the flame and the other the wick. Both wanting to meet but neither one of wanting to be the first to make the move.

"Hmm hum"Someone coughed, sounding clearly annoyed, snapping both of us out of our trance. Glancing over at the person who interrupted our moment my heart literately sank to the bottom of my stomach. Standing next to me was no one other then Tara Jax's old girlfriend of all people.


End file.
